Trust your instincts
Are you currently experiencing “mum shaming” from other mums out there? You know, that unsolicited advice that’s passed by a stranger who happens to know it all?
Well, there’s good and bad news.
The good is that you’re not alone, and the bad being it will always happen. However, mums know best right? Yes, trust your instincts as a mother and do what you deem is comfortable for you and your child.
Let’s get the bullies out the way!
Truth is, parenting styles have become a personal brand, so when someone critiques your preferred methods of raising your child, it can feel like an attack.
It’s not always a bad thing to get an opinion from another parent, especially if you’re still finding your feet as a new one. With that being said, having your methods challenged can either cement your views or open your mind to another world of parenting.
But how do you deal with harsh critics?
When you run into criticism, there are several ways you can handle it gracefully, like the following:
Always keep calm
If the criticism is uncalled for and is stressing you out, try and control your emotions. This is the best time to differentiate whether what you’re receiving is useful advice or if you’ve misunderstood.
Know when it’s criticism or curiosity
Other mums are just excited as you are and perhaps want to know what and how you’re doing it. At times, we may feel like any statement about what you’re doing for your child may be criticism, but it could just be simple curiosity.
Communicate that you’re not interested
At times, parents can be boastful about how their methods are better and this can rub you up the wrong way, as you feel like you’re also doing your best. So, should you feel you’re not able to tolerate the endless tips and advice, draw the line and express how you truly feel. For e.g., “Thank you for sharing that with me, I respect it, however, if you keep telling me this every time, things could get difficult between us”.
Change the narrative
When other mums start a parenting topic and you feel you are being or will be critiqued, change the topic.
Agree, but stick to your ways
You can agree with them, but at the back of your mind, you know what’s best for you and your child. Just show them that you understood their point and stop the conversation on the topic.
Ignore and don’t listen
Just listen to everything, pretend you understood and simply ignore. Sometimes, you don’t have to respond. This way you’re not directly offending the person, they will eventually get it and stop.
You’ve got this, Mum!
At the end of the day, people will talk, whether you’re doing good or bad, but as a mother, you know what’s best for your child. Constructive criticism can be helpful but take everything you receive with a pinch of salt. Take what you can to grow as a mother and filter out everything else. Know that you’re always doing your best.
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Collecting your personal information
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• personalising the Service to your respective preferences;
• for the serving of appropriate, tailored advertising to you via the Service;
• for the purpose of tracking the Service's performance;
• troubleshooting, data analysis, testing, research and service improvement and/or to identify any technical issues that may occur from time to time;
• for use in devising additional enhancements or improvements to the Service; and
• statistical tracking, redundancy and audit purposes.
c. The above data will not be shared with other users of the Service. However, Vodacom further may collect your information in terms of clause 9 (h) and (i) below.
d. We may also collect information about you from other organisations, if this is appropriate. These include fraud-prevention agencies, business directories and credit reference agencies. We may also collect information about you from other companies, our business, or joint venture partners.
Understanding what you want
f. This, in turn, helps us make our website relevant to your interests and needs. We may use a persistent cookie (a cookie that stays linked to your browser) to record your details so we can recognise you if you visit our website again. See the next section for more details.
The personal information we collect
h. The information we collect about you depends on the Vodacom and Vodafone products and services you use and subscribe to. It may include (but is not limited to) the following:
i. your name, age group home language;
ii. your preferences for particular products, services or lifestyle activities when you tell us what they are – or when we assume what they are, depending on how you use our products and services;
iii. your contact with us – such as a note or recording of a call you make to one of our contact centres, an email or letter you send to us or other records of any contact you have with us;
iv. your account information – such as phone number, handset type, handset model,, whether you are a post or prepaid customer, dates of payment owed and received, TopUp information, the subscription services you use or any other information related to your account.
i. We will also get information on how you use our products and services, such as:
i. Where applicable, the phone numbers that you call or send messages to (or the phone numbers that you receive these calls and messages from);
ii. the date, time and length of the calls and messages you send or receive through our network, and your approximate location at the time these communications take place;
iii. the level of service you receive – for example, network faults and other network events which may affect our network services;
iv. your website browsing information (which includes information about the websites you visit, and about how you use our website or other Vodafone Group websites on your mobile or a PC;
v. the date, time and length of your internet browsing, and your approximate location at the time of browsing;
vi. your brand preference, preferred video categories, related preferences (e.g. team choice); and type of services you typically access.
Using your personal information
j. We may use and analyse your information to:
i. process the goods and services you have bought from us, and keep you updated with your order progress;
ii. keep you informed generally about new products and services (unless you choose not to receive our marketing messages);
iii. provide the relevant service or product to you. This includes other services not included in this terms and conditions, and services that use information about where you are when using your mobile equipment (location information) and to contact you with messages about changes to the service or product;
iv. you with offers or promotions based on how you use our products and services. These include your calling and messaging activities, location information and browsing information (unless you choose not to receive these messages – see below on 'How to opt-out';
v. send you targeted and relevant messages, based on your behaviour, permission and preferences. From time to time, we will send you a range of different messages, from Vodacom as well as brands, to keep you informed or simply for you to tell us what you are into. These are not just offers and promotions but messages from your favourite brands including new products, discounts, limited offers, gifts and more. It works by using information about you to send you targeted messages relevant to you;
vi. bill you for using any additional products or services, or to take the appropriate amount of credit from you;
vii. respond to any questions or concerns you may have about using the Service, our network, products or services;
viii. let you know about other companies' products and services we think may interest you (including offers and discounts we've specially negotiated for our customers);
ix. protect our network and manage the volume of calls, texts and other use of our network. For example, we identify peak periods of use so we can try and ensure the network can handle the volume at those times
x. understand how you use this Service, our network, products and services. That way, we can develop more interesting and relevant products and services, as well as personalising the products and services we offer you;
xi. carry out research and statistical analysis including to monitor how customers use this Service, our network, products and services on an anonymous or personal basis;
xii. prevent and detect fraud or other crimes, recover debts or trace those who owe us money;
xiii. provide aggregated reports to third parties (such reports do not contain any information which may identify you as an individual).
k. The information we use will be your approximate location, based on the nearest mobile cell site. As a result, this will change as you move around with your mobile phone.
l. We will store your information for as long as we have to by law. If there is no legal requirement, we will only store it for as long as we need it.
Sharing your personal information
m. We may share information about you with:
i. companies in the Vodacom and Vodafone Group (Vodafone Group Plc and any company or other organisation in which Vodacom owns more than 15% of the share capital);
ii. Mondia Media, partners or agents involved in delivering the Services;
iii. companies who are engaged to perform the Service for, on behalf of Vodacom (Pty) Ltd including Mondia Media (Pty) Ltd;
iv. where applicable, credit reference, fraud prevention or business scoring agencies, or other credit scoring agencies;
v. where applicable, debt collection agencies or other debt recovery organisations;
vi. law enforcement agencies, regulatory organisations, courts or other public authorities if we have to, or are authorised to by law;
vii. emergency services (if you make an emergency call), including your approximate location.
n. We will release information if it's reasonable for the purpose of protecting us against fraud, defending our rights or property, or to protect the interests of our customers.
o. If we are reorganised or sold to another organisation, we may transfer any personal information we hold about you to that organisation.
p. We will transfer your information to Mondia Media our service provider. Mondia Media servers are based outside South Africa in Germany where adequate data protection laws exist to protect the privacy and security of your information. We have also signed a contract with Mondia Media with data protection provisions to ensure the security and protection of the privacy of your information.
q. At your option, we may also share your information with partner organisations we've chosen carefully, so they can contact you about their products and services.
Keeping your personal information secure
r. We have specialised security teams who constantly review and improve our measures to protect your personal information from unauthorised access, accidental loss, disclosure or destruction.
s. If we have a contract with another organisation to provide us with services or a service on our behalf to process your personal information, we will make sure they have appropriate security measures and only process your information in the way we've authorised them to. These organisations will not be entitled to use your personal information for their own purposes. If necessary, our security teams will check them to make sure they meet the security requirements we have set.
t. Communications over the internet (such as emails) are not secure unless they have been encrypted. Your communications may go through a number of countries before being delivered – as this is the nature of the internet. We cannot accept responsibility for any unauthorised access or loss of personal information that's beyond our control.
How to opt-out
u. If you want to opt out of Mum & Baby notifications, alerts or messages, you may do so via the relevant prompts through the short code *117*6862# or by visiting https://mumandbaby.vodacom.co.za. You can choose to opt out of partner communications by sending an SMS with STOP to 30881.